Still in the Broomcloset

I am not completely in the broom closet. I am out to friends and select family, and i really haven't said anything to my Fiance's family because they are all good christian people. Plus living in a catholic community doesn't help. I wish i could be more open about my faith and take time to educate people in my area that it is not the devil worshiping that people have come to think that it is.

Some probably think i am foolish or silly for not telling certain family or friends. I truly do feel that most of them already know because i don't go out of my way to keep it a secret. But i don't openly discuss it mostly out of respect for them and their beliefs and i find it is easier to be silent about my own beliefs over sharing what i believe in and how it is the same as well as different from Christianity.

With religion one of the big causes for families to have rifts or to fall apart over i just keep quiet and speak with only those i know i can tell and trust completely; my little sister being one of those people. I would like to eventually be able to proudly wear my pentacles, and my cloak and various other things i have out in public but fear grips me due to the fact of the community i live in and I don't feel like being exiled from a town i have grown to love.

If someone was to come up to me and ask me straight forward about my faith and had genuine curiosity and not just looking for someone to bash i would be more then happy to open up to them and share my faith with them. One experience I had like this with someone who goes to church everyday and firmly believes in God began asking me questions about what i believe in. So i told them. Even when they needed advise i gave them the advice any christian minister or priest would give. I told them to Pray for their answers. Which is something a lot of pagan's do as well but we have different ways of worship.

I hope to someday be able to tell everyone in my family and my community about my beliefs and show them how it is not so different from their own. But only time, bravery, and work will allow me to achieve this. I don't want to be in the Broom Closet forever.

On a side note i finally selected a Pagan Name for myself. I am Passion Phoenixfire.

~Passion Phoenixfire

My Sister, Winter Solstice, & Lunar Eclipse

So you are aware this blog touches on three things that have occurred this year for 2010!!

I have a 14 year old sister who is pretty awesome for being a little sister. She's a smart girl and very pretty, model quality if you ask me! Well, for a long time my sister had always gone to church and been a good little christian girl. But it wasn't till recently that my sister shared with me her interest in the same faith, or at least a similar one as me.

So I took her to an event known as Pagan Pride here in our home state. And she really seemed to get into everything that was going on. It was great to be able to connect with others of a similar faith because we live in a catholic community (I don't tend to talk about my religion a lot because of that). The longer we were there the more my sister seemed to become drawn to the faith. I bought her a book to read that day so she could understand better.

I even had a Tarot reading done on the both of us. In this reading we were both told that we are meant to work together in our beliefs because together we are strongest. So we took that very seriously and since we have been working together. The Exchange of energy we have is amazing and we usually end up rather wound up. Seeing her take so well to this, I asked her the other day who her goddess was. She told me the Greek Goddess of the Moon and the Hunt, Artemis.

I didn’t ask how she chose the goddess or if the goddess chose her. It’s strictly up to her when she is ready to share that information. My sister seems rather content on her new path of life; Even if we can’t really share it with anyone.

Now onto the next two parts of this Blog…..

The Winter Solstice and the Lunar Eclipse that happened early this morning, which happened around 1 to 2am and longer. When I had heard of it was overly excited about it and began to think of what I was going to do that morning under the eclipse even if it was freezing cold. But then, as I watched the weather reports, we were forecasted with cloudy skies that night. And we were!! And still are! I was very upset that I couldn’t witness such a magical and strong event.

Even though things didn’t go as I had hoped I could still feel the energy that coursed through the earth and the air. It was amazing and I didn’t get to sleep till around 4am. To those of you who got to witness to eclipse, I hate you (not seriously). And I am extremely jealous of you. But Also kudos on getting to witness such a magical event!

Happy Yule to those of you who are reading this, may the New Year bring you love and light! Blessed be, and Brightest Blessings to you and your Family! May the Goddess watch over and protect you and your kin.

~Passion Fire

How I Found My Faith

So before I go diving into how I found my faith I want it to be known that I am Pagan. Most people call it Wicca. I call it pagan because of the branch of Paganism that I believe in and follow. If you don't like what I believe in that is your problem and I don't care if you do or don't. I am proud of my decision and wouldn't change it for anyone other than myself, and that's not going to happen.

I follow the Egyptian path of Paganism. Isis is my Goddess, and I thankful everyday that she has come into my life. Now on to the story of how I found Isis.

It was 2004 and I was very lost within the forest of life. I was 18, married to a us soldier (we are divorced now), and living in a different state away from all my family, friends, and everything I knew. My (ex)husband had just returned home from being over seas a few weeks earlier and we had finally found a place of our own. I had this deep desire to become a mom, and I had, had this desired since I was 16 (yea I know I was young). My (ex)husband had the same desire now that he was back on US Soil. We wanted a baby.

Well, when you have unprotected sex from the age of 16 on and only get pregnant once and miscarry that child it tends to tear you up pretty good. At least it did me. I had convinced myself I could not have children. But we were going to try anyways. We attended a few baby showers of his co-workers (0ther soldiers) who were expecting or their wives were expecting and it tore me apart seeing them have what i longed for, pregnancy.

It also didn't help that I was without faith. I didn't believe in God anymore (i was baptized at 12; my choice) and I wanted to believe in something. So i began to research the many different religions that were out there. It became fun after a while learning about the different religions that shaped our culture and society. My (ex)husband was Wicca and believed in the Goddess of the Moon and had taken me to a few of the circles he was apart of. I sat out at these places and enjoyed watching them.

One thing I learned during my research for religion especially when I found myself leaning towards Wicca was that I had to find the goddess that fit with me. So my research took me to researching and learning about different gods and goddesses. Now, I had always been a fan of all forms of Mythology, Egyptian being one of my faves. After deep thought, and long hours of reading online and books I started looking deeper into the Egyptian gods. Isis began to stand out to me more than the rest of them.

I was still desperate to have a child, and having learned Isis was a Goddess of fertility I began to pray and talk to her asking, no, begging her to help me conceive a baby. Every night i prayed and begged.

For weeks i prayed and talked to Isis. And just talking to her and praying to her eased the pain in my heart and eased my mind allowing me to think and see clearly again. During this time me and my (ex)husband had gone to his home state and returned to the state he was stationed at. It had only been a few days after we turned to our home and I had woke at 1:30am to go potty; that was when i decided to take my last pregnancy test.

Positive. I screamed and woke my (ex)husband from a dead sleep. He asked what was wrong and i told him I was pregnant. I couldn't stop thanking Isis for giving me what i had wanted so desperately. I was going to finally have a baby. I was going to get to be a mommy! And I have been loyal to Isis since.

Now you can think that it was bound to happen eventually or whatever. I believe Mother Isis gave me my little girl, and no one can change my mind from that. Isis has since come to me in a few dreams. I have had a few Tarot readings done and they have all said I am on the right path when it comes to my faith, and beliefs.

Its been almost 6 years since I found Isis and i have since gotten divorced, moved back to my home state, got my GED, started college, and now i am engaged to the greatest guy in the world that is able to put up with my craziness. I do not do any rituals, yet; but i am learning as i read my books, and do my own Tarot readings now.

I have so much to learn and I look forward to learn more with each book i pick up and read.

This blog I have started is for me to share my journey as I become the Witch I was always meant to be. The blogs should become more interesting as I progress down the path since a lot of very interesting things have happened to me since I found Isis. So I hope you all enjoy!

Also, all rude, and disrespectful comments will be removed. Haters are Not Welcome.